Ding dong, the witches are dead!

Fingers crossed.

Look, there is nothing at all wrong with the Fauxhan. Yet I don't like her. I had no problem with her initially, but my O.C. party buddy Matt has hated her from the beginning, mainly because she's come between him and Ryan. So maybe my dislike is his doing? Anyway, I'm kind tired of this story line. Adios!

And, hallelujah, Miss Unrecognizable After Rehab might finally be gone! I need more Cohen Parents love. I'm sick and tired of Sandy dipping his bushy eyebrowed toe into the waters of adultery.

Hahaha. Toes with Peter Gallagher brows. Hurl.

Ditto: I am so hot for Julie Cool Cooper. I want more.

And, Kieran, I know the return of Teresa Con El Bebe is inevitable but, damn it, NOOOOoooo! And one more time, in Spanish: NOOOOoooo!

Good thing I'm not writing for this show. Everybody'd just be making out all the time. No conflict, just kisses.

P.S. Seth's cable goes out? Are they sending you a message? He so wants you, HL.